Adjustments, transitions and a little Tommy history

My little heartbreaker. :)

Finally, I found minutes to spare and blog about how we are all adjusting to life now that our little baby boy is home. Well, life is turned upside down, in a good way.
Tommy is a happy kid, he likes to play with his ball, chase the cats, walk outside in the morning and wrestle with his Dad. He is not a difficult child, his transition went very smoothly and I didn't have problems with meltdowns at all - they were practically nonexistent.
On his first night with us, he slept at about eight in the evening and stirred at around one in the morning. I gave him a bottle of milk and after finishing seven ounces, he fell right back to sleep. He stirred again at about four in the morning and I offered another seven ounces and did a diaper change. He woke up at six and we took him out for a walk around the village.
He was very quiet and observant most of the time. He never made any whimpering sound and I felt so sad to realize that my boy was trying to deal with yet another change in his life on his own, quiet, little way.
We would be Tommy's fourth caregivers. When he was born, he was immediately placed into someone else's care. At four months, he was "given" to an elderly (58 year old) Christian woman who wanted to legally adopt him, however, her age and her biological children prevented the adoption. She took care of Tommy for five months before she finally decided to entrust Tommy to the care of the social welfare services so he would be placed properly into a forever family. At nine months old, Tommy was placed in a rehabilitation center in Olongapo City and in April of this year, two months short of his first birthday, he was transferred to the DSWD Rehabilitation and Study Center for Children in Lubao, Pampanga. It is the same center that we went to back in December of 2008 - a trip that stamped a seal on our decision to adopt a child someday. We didn't know that it is going to be the same center that would play a big part in our very own adoption story. What a small world.
Anyway, back to Tommy. We spent as much time as we could bonding with him and making him feel that this is home. It was pretty apparent that he didn't spend time with males in the past because each time Warren is near him, he'd be anxiously staring at Warren with curious, somehow fearful eyes. If there ever was a rough time in his transition, it would have to be transitioning to the fact that Warren is a permanent figure in his life. They were on a push and pull for about three days, Warren would try to play with him and for a few minutes Tommy would laugh and enjoy and then the next minute, he would get cranky and all worked up. Each time Tommy's behavior would turn bad, Warren would pull away. Then when Tommy's mood would improve, he'd push again.
Warren, bless his heart, spent as much time as he could with Tommy to get the child used to his presence. He took him on walks outside, he played with him gently, he kissed and cuddled him a lot until on the fourth morning, at two a.m. Tommy woke Warren up with a big smile on his face. Father and son spent about an hour playing and wrestling and it's been like that every morning since! Only the times would vary, sometimes four a.m., other times three.
Life is so much different now, but it's never been better! We praise God for His wonderful gift and it was so perfectly timed, Gotcha Day was actually two days before my 33rd birthday!

RSCC in Lubao, Pampanga. Tommy's home for six months.

Our little boy

Introducing... Thomas Gershom :)

I wish I could blog everyday but I really can't anymore... Tommy is such a blessing to Warren and I and everyday, when we wake up at 4am (yes! 4am!) to feed and play with him, we could not help but think of how gracious the Lord is to us for giving us a son who is jolly, teachable and sweet! We also could not help but be reminded of our very own adoption into His family. Tommy is God's greatest gift to us and we sing praises to Him for choosing to entrust to us this little happy soul.

Since Gotcha Day on October 26, life has changed for our family considerably. We used to love spending extra minutes on the bed every weekend, savoring the start of a non-working day and just having quality time with each other. Now, we wake up earlier than the roosters in the neighborhood everyday, lol! I have my hands full and although I would really love to keep every detail of our parenthood/adoption story blogged, I just can't anymore, except for the trickles of updates I manage to sneak onto my Facebook page which are mostly just snippets and vignettes of life with our little boy.

I will be trying my very best to keep up with everyone here, for now I'd like to share with you photos taken the first week Tommy's home:

THE BEFORE AND AFTER PHOTO:

Before: Gotcha Day at the RSCC in Lubao, Pampanga
After : Two days after gotcha day, settling in with his forever family, getting a haircut and checkup from his new pediatrician

AT HOME PHOTOS:

Going through his Dad's books. Will he share the same passion?


Bath time with Mommy

Play time


AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD PHOTOS:
with his new playmates

With Dad

Where did you get that?

Okay, it's 4am and I am dying to blog about this so I had to wake up this early just in case my hands become full as soon as Tommy wakes up.

Yesterday, I had my first brush with the "third kind". You know, people who just can't exercise enough self control that staring intently at Tommy is not enough that they still have to ask. I don't have a problem about being asked, I'm quite okay with that and I don't mind talking about Tommy's adoption at all. I mean, hey, I do blog about it don't I? My only problem is the way the questions come along with weird looks thrown between my son and me and please, would it be so difficult to at least paraphrase the question so that it would AT LEAST sound less offensive?

A neighbor came by just as Emma and I were walking Tommy outside and she asked, "Where did you get that?" I looked up at her and wondered what "that" was she talking about so I asked "I'm sorry?" She was looking so intently at Tommy that she did not even bother to move her gaze to me. She repeated her question and to put a stress on the "that" she was referring to, she pursed her lips and pointed them towards my son.

"Oh, just by the roadside on my way to the city. I saw this lump of cow dung with a baby on top. I picked up the baby and took him home," I was dead serious when I said this and I think it worked because her eyes flew to me and as if realizing she did not only meddle but even asked the wrong question, she scratched her head and with an embarrassed smile said, "No, I... Uhm... Ahhh..."

I would have loved to watch her squirm in discomfort some more but then time is so precious for me nowadays I'd rather spend the few extra minutes bonding with Tommy so I just told her that we applied for adoption from the local social welfare department. That should explain everything to her.

He is home!

Tommy at nine months, this is the photo attached on his profile and case study report

Sorry I was not able to post in real time. Everything happened so fast it still feels surreal until now.

Yesterday morning, Warren and I went to the social welfare office to look at Tommy's profile. We were not expecting anything more than that since I was told two weeks ago that the center where he was housed would likely require two visits from us before they could discharge our son to our care.

So, at almost noon time, we were sitting inside an office with about half a dozen social workers telling us that we could, in fact, already take our son home that very same day if we wished. Warren and I looked into each other and back to the photograph of Tommy he's holding and we were like, "we still didn't buy him any clothes" (because we wanted to see him first to at least know his size), "what about milk?" and "diapers"... At first we agreed to pick him up the next day which is today so that we can at least prepare and find a car we can borrow but then we just both know we would not be able to sleep anymore until Tommy's in our arms so at an hour past noon, we found ourselves imposing (haha!) on a pastor we just very recently met and who happily volunteered his car.

The center was a long ways off, an hour's drive and borders Pampanga and Bataan provinces but we didn't care, hahahah! We got there and after a little paperwork, we were on our way back home with a little child in tow. Wow! What a day!

Warren and I are so thankful to all of those who have been praying for us all throughout this journey. Of course this is not yet the end, it is only the beginning. There will still be adoption proceedings after this and then of course the rearing, nurturing and loving forever of this child that God has entrusted to us. May His Holy Name be glorified as we journey through parenthood!

Weekend in Manila

Monday, here you are! :)

Over the weekend, I noticed that Warren often stared into space with a dreamy smile on his lips. Often too, I caught him taking deep breaths and shaking his head in wonder. Like I said in my previous post, he looked like just about to burst and I'm not exaggerating! He's really excited and he still can't believe he is going to be a father very soon.

Well, we both are excited and we could not wait for the weekend to end. And now that Monday's here... We can't wait for 10Am to arrive! Lol!

Anyway, here are some pictures taken over the weekend which we spent at my Mother-In-Law's house in Manila. We also visited our much-loved "Ninang" Betty whose house was submerged in floods caused by typhoon Ondoy. On Sunday morning, we went to the Chinese cemetery where my Father-In-Law is buried.

As soon as we heard, we jumped in the car and ran to the mall for some baby items. Our first purchase upon finding out our son's age:


Daddy Warren took a detour to the nearest Christian bookstore to get his "fix" after an exhausting trip to the mall.


Then I made some pesto after a trip to Suki Market where MIL bought about a kilo of basil...


We visited our Ninang Betty, Warren's best friend's mom and his second parent. Her house was severely damaged by the floods that hit the metro in September and which killed hundreds. We are sitting on the only furniture they were able to salvage. She is wearing a back brace, in case you are wondering what that brown thing wrapped around her body is, because she slipped on 6 flights of stairs during the deluge.


Receipts, documents, stocks and personal items hung on makeshift lines to dry. Warren and I were so shocked to see for the first time since September 26 (when the typhoon hit) what happened to our Ninang's house and family business.


Facebook-ing and checking emails while waiting for the MIL. This is Warren's office before he left home in mid-2007 to live on his own in a rented condo-apartment.


At the Chinese Cemetery. In front of me is my Father In Law's tomb. I don't know what the colored papers are for but I've been helping them stick these on the tombstone for two years already. Other families we passed by were burning yellow-colored papers with Chinese inscriptions, I think they call it "gold money" or something. My brother in law told me that the Chinese believe that they are sending the money to their dead relatives by burning them. Don't ask me why the dead need this so-called money because I didn't bother to ask.

Basic details about Tommy

We haven't seen Tommy's profile yet, nor his picture. However, I heard from our SW this morning and we were given the basic information.

Tommy is Christian James, he was born on June 19, 2008 so that makes him a year and four months old now. So far that is all we have about our son. We hope the weekend would be over soon so we could finally take a peek into his profile.

Warren and I are in Manila right now, we are staying with my mother in law for the weekend. It was also good timing because as soon as we heard the news we hopped in the car and went to the nearest mall to buy baby items.

We are excited, but looking at the new dad beside me, he looked like he could burst with so much joy! Lol!